Guest Post: Neptune & Mr. Moo


Neptune: Mr. Moo, have you thought about what you’re getting Dodger for Valentines Day?

Moo: Huh? Dodger needs a token fer somethin’? Where do I gotta go to get this token for ‘er? What do I get ‘er? What about that there stuff called choc’late? Would that work?

Neptune: No, Moo, she’ll get sick on Chocolate. You don’t want to kill your lover on this special day.

Moo: I seen on TV about jewelry, how ‘bout jewelry?

Neptune: Dodger doesn’t have fingers, and she already wears a collar around her neck. Jewelry won’t work either, I’m afraid, Moo.

Moo: what ‘bout…..hmmm.

Neptune: Think of things Dodger likes.

Moo: She likes t’ sleep.

Neptune: Well you can’t get her sleep.

Moo: Dodger sure does like vittles.

Neptune: yes, she does love food and snacks.

Moo: Choc’late!!

Neptune: No, Chocolate is more for human women; they love Chocolate. Mom would love Chocolate. Cats get treats or toys.

Moo: Well, what’re you getting’ Dodger?

Neptune: I don’t have to get Dodger anything, because I’m not her loverboy. You are. I’m in love with mom, so I’m getting mom chocolate.

Moo: How come I can’t give caretakin’ ma’am anything?

Neptune: You can, just not chocolate!!! Besides, you’re having a hard enough time figuring out what to get Dodger.

Moo: Somethin’ she likes t’ eat, hmm. I got it. She’s got a hankerin’ for fish. Where do I gotta go to get ‘er a fish?

Neptune: Do you want it alive or dead?

Moo: Oh this is soooo hard. I dunno.

Neptune: Mom isn’t going to want to cook anything for Dodger, and cooking fish really stinks up the house.

Moo:  shucks, this is hard.

Neptune: I’m getting mom chocolate and spending the day with her, then were having dinner together. I have my bowtie all ready, and mom will clean my eyes and ears.

Moo: I can nap with Dodger all day and eat vittles with ‘er, too. Then we can play together.

Neptune: And mom has a can of fish flakes in the pantry.

Moo: Dodger loves that stuff!!!! Oh that would make a mighty fine token from me to ‘er. Oh good, this shindig is lookin’ up. Thank you fer helpin’ me Neptune. Yer a mighty fine bubba to me. You sure are good at this stuff.

Neptune: I was married to a feline similar to Dodger for awhile. I know what female felines do and don’t like.

Moo: and ya sure do know yer human ma’ams too!!! Can ya make me a list of what all cats like and what all humans like for this lovers day? So I can ‘member fer next year.

Neptune and his mom
Neptune and his mom


Neptune: Sure Moo. Let’s see, a female feline is sure to love some catnip, while human women prefer flowers. However, mom says flowers wilt and die after a few days, so she prefers a plant which can live for years.

Moo: Is there any special kind o’ flowers t’ look fer?

Neptune: Yes, if you’re in love or married, roses work real well; Red roses. If you’re dating, carnations work.

 Human ladies LOVE shoes. In lieu of a man selecting a pair of shoes for a woman, I recommend him getting a gift card to her favorite shoe store, or better yet, go shoe shopping with her and have a romantic lunch. Clothes work the same way as shoes for women.

 Now men get to receive Valentine’s Day goodies too, but men shop at totally different places than women. Again, I recommend a woman get her man a gift card to his favorite auto parts store, outdoors store or Sears, Home Depot or Lowe’s. She can also accompany him shopping and get a romantic lunch out of the deal!!!!

 Human women also love cake, ice cream and any other rich dessert, including chocolate covered fruit. Here’s two places I know of, one is online and the other is a brick and mortar company with locations in many states.

 The first is Shari’s Berries, an online company who features a wide variety of fruit with 50 different toppings, including chocolate, nuts, sprinkles, etc..

handmade smores

 The other company is Edible Arrangements. Mom says we have one within a mile of our house. Their website lists all their locations, too. Check them out at:


teddy bear aviator Some women love soft, plush, teddy bears, and I found a company just for them! Vermont Te   ddy Bears have bears in every occupational attire imaginable, and bears come in many sizes. They have over 100 styles of bears, too. You can get a 4 ft tall bear for $99.99. This bear is called the Big Hunka Love Bear. Their website is:

teddy bear giant Big Hunka 6ft

 Amazon carries some of these bears, and a few were on sale. Just search for Vermont Teddy Bears.

 Human women also love quiet, aromatic baths with candles, incense, or diffusers. I understand wine and rose petals are good accessories to baths. Bed, Bath and Beyond is a good place for all things bath related. My mom really loves her bathtub pillows, so there’s another idea. To see their selection of items online before heading to the store, go to:

bathtub pillow They also have a clearance section online. If you’re a preferred customer, they send you coupons every so often, in the mail.

 Box store discounters also carry bath related items.

 A fire in the fireplace is also a romantic thing ladies like, providing you have a fireplace. You can take your lady out to a romantic dinner and come home and sip wine by a roaring warm fire!!!

 Or you can rent or otherwise watch a movie at home, after a romantic dinner at home and a fire after dinner. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to cost a fortune.

Mr. Moo: Do ya have any other ideas on what th’ ladies can get th’ men?

Neptune: Yes, a human woman can either watch a sporting event or two on tv, or get tickets and accompany him to a real live game.

 She can take him to a nice, romantic dinner, and/or a movie. And again, she can incorporate that romantic roaring fire.

 If a particular locale happens to have nice, sunny weather, a drive to the mountains or beach would be cozy. A walk on the beach is really supposed to be romantic!!! So is a picnic!!!

 If a particular location happens to have frigid temperatures, ice fishing might be more in line, or snowmobiling, snowboarding, skiing, or a romantic weekend in a mountain cabin.

 The outdoorsy guy would probably enjoy a day or weekend hiking, camping, fishing, canoeing or kayaking.

 Activities depend on the lifestyle and personality of the person. Be creative, yet personal.

Is this a good reference list, Mr. Moo?

Mr. Moo: Yep. But what ‘bout cat couples. What else can they do?

Neptune: Well if they get to go outdoors, they can climb trees; bask in the sun, if there is any; watch birds and nature, or explore their yard. If they get to live on a farm or ranch, there is sooo much for a cat to do. Just go outside, there’s always something to do, see, or investigate!!! I loved to explore our barn and shop, or under our house, or on the roof. I really loved climbing on hale bales!!!

 If cats happen to live indoors, they can sit in a windowsill or lay in a cat tree together, or watch tv from a piece of furniture, nap together, or have their human play with them.

 Lucky pets might get a car ride out of their humans. I know Bowzer and I love car rides. I love rides in the country!!!

Mr. Moo: Wow, Neptune, I think I got it all. You got a lot o’ good ideas. Now when is this Valentine’s Day happenin’?

Neptune: Friday, Februrary 14th. And don’t forget a Valenine’s day card!!!!!


Bowser says Happy Valentine's Day
Bowser says Happy Valentine’s Day
Dodger & Mr. Moo
Dodger & Mr. Moo



Author’s Note: Many Thanks to Mr.Moo & Neptune for their cat insight into Valentine’s Day and tips & hints on what to get for other felines and their humans.

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